5 Years

Today marks the 5th anniversary of my dad passing away. It's hard to believe it has already been 5 years and at the same time I wanna ask, "has it ONLY been 5 years?" I look over everything I have been through and I feel like my Dad has missed so much. I think back to the person I was when he was alive and I barely know that person anymore, so it makes me wonder what he would think if he were here now.

After he died I became very attached to my hair and have had longer hair ever since. I had highlighted my hair right when he got sick and I watched them grow out and didn't want to cut my hair. I didn't want to have a new head of hair that he hadn't touched. It's a weird thing I know, but it was my thing. Thankfully split ends drive me up a wall, so I'm not a complete freak about it!

I have had a lot of amazing experiences over the past few years though that I know I would not have had if he hadn't passed away. I've learned more about myself through everything and as much as I miss my Dad, I wouldn't change any of what I have gained for the world. I have been blessed with an amazing step-dad and family who I love with all my heart and see how everything seems to work out in the end.

Usually I try to do something fun to mark this day...go hit some golfballs, go to Ted's, etc. Today I just took it easy and tried to enjoy the day as I know that's all my dad would have wanted us to do. It still makes me angry that he is gone, but I know he wouldn't want any of us to feel that way...especially today.

Kent and I also had a great week this week. We met with the Doctor and our little baby looks and sounds healthy. He is really concerned about my weight and has put me on double rations. I'm trying, but I'm honestly not so keen on the idea of gaining 35 pounds. My whole life I've been taught what are the right foods to eat and what to eat sparingly, so it is quite a shift of paradigm to know that it's ok to fill up on the "bad foods." BUT I know I gotta do this for the baby, so I really am trying!

Kent and I also spent a lot of time on our knees this week with gratitude. We've had some hard times over the last few months. We had met with our Bishop for a "Spiritual Checkup" and he talked to us about fear and compared it to pornography which seemed to help get us in line. We've tried so hard to stay positive and keep moving forward without an end in sight. Well, this week we were poured a blessing so great that there was not room enough to receive it. For the 1st time in my life I understood WHY someone would want to slaughter an animal to show gratitude. No amount of prayer or service has felt "good enough" to show our appreciation to the Lord. Yeah- it was a GOOD week!

Kent and I are so so SO excited about having our little girl and everything is just falling into place again. We're looking forward to this week and wish everyone a happy Memorial Day!

This weekend Kent and I spent our 1st night apart from each other!

On Friday I headed to Tucson for one of my best friends Lauree's graduation from the UofA, my mom's birthday, and my baby shower. I missed the graduation, but enjoyed the dinner her family had that evening. I always love getting together with my Jobie family.

It was also my mom's birthday, so that night Shawn, Chad, and Chloe came over. We visited and watched videos of my brother's Ranger Competition. I don't know who had it worse...my brother who actually did the obstacles, or my parents running alongside him for 3 days. We had some good laughs!

Then on Saturday, my friends Lauree, Erin, and Emily through me a baby shower. It was so perfect! It was so good to see everyone and visit for the morning. We were supposed to have it in the courtyard of Lauree's church (my bridal shower was there and it was just beautiful), but a funeral was going on, so we were down in the basement. I am actually glad we were down there because it was SO HOT and the A/C was so nice.

That night I came home and laid everything out. I cannot believe how much stuff we got! It's only May and we're almost set with everything we need. Now it's just a waiting game. We are going to wait until after the baby is born to convert the guest room into the nursery, however it is packed full of baby stuff now, so I'm not sure how that's going to work!

We have an appointment with Dr. Eddy this week which will hopefully go just fine like all the others.

Kent and I are just so excited to have this little baby. It's going to be a LONG summer of waiting, which neither of us are good at :(

Best Ranger Competition

My "little" brother Eddie is a Ranger in the U.S. Army. This past weekend, he participated in the Best Ranger Competition. He has been training since the winter for this and we were all psyched for him!

My parents went out to Georgia to root him on along with his partner, Spc. Mike Pierce. 49 teams started the competition on Friday morning and competed continuously for 60 hours straight! In the end, their team took 14th place!

During the day they competed in a variety of obstacle courses, shoot outs, jumps, etc.; and at night they participated in a variety of marches and treks.

I talked to my mom a few times over the weekend and she stated, "We're dirty, sweaty, and exhausted, and we're not even the ones competing!" Eddie also called me last night when it was all said and done and he was pretty wiped out.

We are all so proud of him!! Go Sgt. Edward F. Killmeier!

Mother's Day weekend camping trip

This past Thursday Kent and I headed up to the White Mountains for a break, and boy did we need one!

The trip up was long, tiring, stressful, scary, etc. I had big plans to be spontaneous and NOT have a campsite picked out. This always works for Kent, but I learned that I need to stick with my roots and have a plan. We saw a sign with a Tent on it and turned down the long winding road just before it was dark...as we left 3 hours later than planned :) Just as we were about to give up, we saw another little sign pointing to campgrounds 4 miles away. Phew! We could handle another 4 miles right? My poor Toyota! This was the WORST road I have ever driven on! The worst part was crossing 2 pretty sketchy bridges over some white waters. I was watching the odometer and decided that I wouldn't burst into tears until mile 247.3, which was exactly 4 miles from the sign. As soon as I saw the .3, I let it out. Just as I'm pulling over Kent says, "Hey! I bet this spot will work." I panicked because we were on the Indian Reservation, didn't have a permit, and it didn't exactly look "designated." I shined the lights on it and there was a fire pit, so I let Kent talk me into it.

It turned out to be the most perfect site! We had the river running right alongside us. We saw maybe 5 cars in the whole 3 days and were completely secluded. In the morning we went for a little stroll and found that as the road continued on it didn't look so bad, and found a plethora of campsites in case we needed to leave our site. We had basically taken the "back road" in and had gone completely out of the way. Like I said, I will NEVER not have a plan again!

We also got to see some wildlife out there. The cows were definitely our favorite.


We headed home on Saturday afternoon, only to watch the car's thermometer hedge its way up to 107! Ugh! It's going to be a long summer.


On Sunday I got to have my 1st mother's day. Kent made a wonderful non-typical-hockey-puck-like French Toast breakfast which was just perfect. At church I got a plethora of chocolate and then my sister-in-law brought me flowers! She and Kent made me dinner too. Fettuccine, salad, and bread. Seeing as that I didn't make it to the store it was REALLY nice to not panic about what was for dinner :)

I cannot wait until next year when I have my little baby with me too. That reminds me...WE'RE HAVING A GIRL!!! Yeah!